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Mental health

Boundaries

Setting and maintaining boundaries is an issue that comes up a lot for me. It is something I have struggled with for a long time and still struggle with but I have come a long way and would like to share what I have learnt in this post.

I like this definition of a boundary which I found on the internet:

A boundary is defined as “the invisible line that separates the participants in a relationship and allows each to maintain a separate identity” (source: The Shack).

Boundaries are a very important, but under-valued, part of relationships. In healthy relationships we can be together and also apart. Boundaries are especially important for HSPs given it takes less for us to become overwhelmed. For me setting a boundary such as a time limit for when I see a friend has made the encounter seem more manageable and I have experienced less dread about it the night before. It has helped me enjoy the time we spend together more.

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Anger… is not a dirty word!

Anger is a difficult emotion for many HSPs. While quickly dismissed as a “bad” emotion, I feel there is a place for negative emotions like anger. They’re the starting point for doing something about the injustices of this world. While anger has become associated with aggression, violence and destruction, as an activist I observe far more dangerous and destructive states, such as apathy. I’d like to re-post some words of wisdom by Michelle McClintock (psychologist) which I read on the ADAVIC Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria’s Facebook page and often find myself coming back to.

Continue reading “Anger… is not a dirty word!”

Healing the inner child

“But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten.”
Evanescence ~ Understanding (Can’t Wash It All Away)

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Discovering John Bradshaw’s “inner child” work has been a big part of my own healing journey and is something I am passionate about sharing with other HSPs. In this post I would like to share how his work resonates with me and I will provide some links to his videos for readers who would like to explore this rich territory themselves.

On the Ophra Show, John introduces the wounded “inner child” as that thirsty, needy part of himself which comes out in relationships. It’s the part of himself who needs constant affirmation he is loved, who misconstrues things, who’s quick to feel abandoned. And while John’s conscious mind seems to know he’s being “irrational”, the feelings, the urges, the fears are still there. This is something I too experience but I’ve found very difficult to articulate. There are many psychology tests out there which ask people to rate their agreement with a series of statements (e.g. I am a good person). I always struggle with such an exercise. I am aware of a conflict within my being, between my conscious and unconscious, between my beliefs and my feelings. As I’ve tried to explain it’s almost like there’s two selves who would answer the question differently. I now understand that second self as my “inner child”. The inner child is essentially a semi-independent entity which is subordinate to the waking conscious mind. Continue reading “Healing the inner child”

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