Last night at 5am I returned to my house after spending a week away. Moving and change is something I seem to find very distressing. I was shattered to leave. It felt like being torn away from a lover. I folded up the soft navy blanket which the motel left me. The blanket I’d curl up under when I lay on the garden bench at night, having the whole place to myself. Once I cleaned up the place I lay on the bed under the blanket and listened to meditation music with one clear quartz pyramid at my head and two at my feet. I thought I might fall asleep, but I didn’t. Check out was 10am today, but I didn’t want to get up that early so left last night. Whenever I opened the door to carry more bags to the car I thought someone was waiting there ready to murder me. I feel like I’ve been in a bit of a strange headspace lately, which may have come through in my last post. I feel like I’m having all these intense dreams and thoughts which don’t make sense to anyone else. Continue reading “Unsound”
After a bit of a rough start, I am finally getting the respite that I need. I am staying in a motel set in a quaint garden. People often have weddings here. I have been the only one staying here the past few days which has been lovely. Below is a view from my window. Small birds with long, thin beaks often stop by and suck nectar from the flowers on the bush.
Continue reading “Loss, home, space, solitude and developmental trauma”
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