hsphaven

A few weeks ago I moved into a new place in Olinda. After seeing the what was to be my new home I thought it was perfect. It was a beautiful old house only a short distance from the forest and township of Olinda.

When I spoke with my new landlord, who lives in the Northern Territory, she told me that her son, and my new house mate who we will refer to as Sam, is a nice guy who likes to keep to himself. When meeting with him for the first time he seemed like he would be easy to live with. He told me that he smoked some weed which didn’t bother me. But it wasn’t until I actually moved in that I began to realize exactly what he got up to. I would very quickly learn that he was high every single day. It’s not uncommon for me arrive home to find him puffing on a bong. It was not long after that when I learned that he also sells drugs to his mates. And not just marijuana. These are things that I don’t do and want to have nothing to do with. Continue reading “The unsafe space” →

Dreaming of sweet summer days with you,

The world fades away

It is only us

Swimming in the sparkling sea,

Ripples of light dancing through me,

Everything I’ve been missing is crystal clear.

Continue reading “My only medicine” →

There I was, adrift amongst the ocean of monotonous routine and empty acts that had become my life, lost in a loneliness and pointlessness that had no horizon. The vastness and emptiness was consuming. Every attempt to fill this void with false people, empty relationships and hopeless hobbies. I was treading water, trying to keep my head above the surface whilst enduring wave after wave of loneliness, insecurity and frustration. I feared that I would be out here forever. Continue reading “The lighthouse” →

I’ve always been one for talking. Ever since I was a child I would talk on end. Even to this day I can find it difficult to remain silent. This is due to a variety of deep seeded insecurities and a fear of coming across as boring or disatisfying. Though over the years I have found that with practice it has become easier. This is not to say that I do not see the enjoyment or satisfaction of a genuine conversation. But my words were often without meaning or place. Continue reading “The art of stillness” →

“The only people who will be upset by the raising of your boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you not having any”

When I was a child, my parents took me to Rainbow’s End in Auckland, New-Zealand. Being the impulsive child I was, I dived at the tallest ride in the park. Before I knew it I was strapped into a seat which took me and a few others up a massive pole. At the very top, one would enjoy views all over Auckland; that is, before we were suddenly dropped. The drop may have only lasted five or ten seconds, but they were the longest seconds of my life. I begged for the ride to be over and it completely killed my motivation to go on most rides again. I used to get a thrill out of being scared, but this fear was another level altogether. That is exactly what my experience with Ayahuasca was like: being strapped into this thing with no control over its course.
Continue reading “My experience with ayahuasca” →