hsphaven

“Our normal waking consciousness, rational consciousness as we call it, is but one special type of consciousness, whilst all about it, parted from it by the flimsiest of screens, there lie potential forms of consciousness entirely different.” William James

I have spent the last fortnight in hospital, and have received a lot of communication from spirit whilst here.

The nurse woke me one morning at 10am. I then drifted off into another state of consciousness, another dimension where I saw two entities in my room. Sitting in the chair next to my bed was a woman. I thought it was a nurse at first. Whoever she was, her presence was incredibly loving and comforting. I remember the way she made me feel more than the way she looked. She held my left finger and we conversed for a while. I can no longer remember everything that we said, but it was something to do with my Complex PTSD and there being a world where there is only love, no evil. That is the world she came from. I believe she was an angel. Then on my right was a tall shadow figure. I was screaming but I was ok as I had my angel with me. Eventually one of the nurses came into my room and said something about it being 11am and time to wake up. I couldn’t answer her, I was still between realms. My body was paralysed, and my eyes were blinking. It took a while to return to this realm. I was disappointed to be back. “Come back” I whispered to the angel.

I can never predict these experiences. The next spiritual experience I had was on Saturday. I went out with my mum that day, and picked up a dress that had arrived in the post. It was a dark fairy /steampunk dress from Fairy Floss, black with an asymmetrical lace bottom and a corset with bronze loops. I put it on and sat in my room for a while listening to Cinema Bizarre. I did not just hear the music, but I felt it. I then went into the kitchen and people told me I looked amazing. When I got back to my room my mood took a sudden, upward turn. I felt all the happiness I had not felt for weeks, months, a year, all at once. The nurses found me pacing, dancing and spinning around my room. Apparently it scared them, as I was a completely different person. I was vibrating on another level. My nurse asked me to reflect on my progress here and sign some papers but I found it difficult to do anything that required concentration. I was on cloud nine. It reminded me of my manic episode last year where I struggled to even look up my friend’s address on Google. I was also shaking. My mania was back, like a long lost friend I never thought I’d see again. But what doctors see as a serious disease is actually a wonderful healing process to me. I never feel more myself than when I am manic. My nurse took my blood pressure and it was 111. Loner Wolf has written an article about seeing multiple 1’s:

“Many people suggest that seeing 11 11 signifies that your spirit guides are attempting to contact you. In my experience, 11 11 seems to be the number of spiritual awakening, signifying that you are on the right path and your actions are aligned with your Soul’s purpose. In other words, seeing 11 11 is a good sign! An energetic doorway is being opened in which you will experience spiritual growth.”

11 11 meaning in summary: You are on the right path and you’re being assisted by your Soul, spirit guides, and the Universe to consciously grow and expand. Pay attention, be aware, and remember to stay grounded in the present moment.”

I didn’t take my meds. I ran and jumped around the dark, quiet corridors while the other patients wound down for the night. I then lay on my bed and played a beautiful ocean meditation, which can be found here. It reminds me of Lemuria, my true spiritual home. The night nurses came to my room and kept asking me to come up and take my meds (though I am barely on anything). Finally, around midnight, I managed to stop and take one tablet of Largactil and one tablet of Temazepam. I then crawled into bed still wearing my dress. I got a few hours sleep, then woke up. I changed into my pyjamas and fell back to sleep. The next day the mania was gone. I was a little disappointed, but I was just grateful that the feeling came back at all. I knew I cannot force these things. I need to go with the flow of the river. Elizabeth Peru writes that bouts of euphoria, followed by feeling low, is an ascension symptom:

“With 5D ascension and shifting daily planetary influences, you can experience bouts of being on a high, followed by days when your energy feels lower. These lower periods are the ‘assimilation’ periods. After growth, you need to stabilise and allow yourself to rest. It’s just like working out a muscle with weights. You push it past its limits, then rest and during the rest period (the low) it grows stronger. Spiritual growth (ascension) works in exactly the same way. So, on slower days – you’re not really low, you’re just assimilating your changes and growth, before getting ready to expand again.”

I may be bipolar, I may be spiritual, or I may be both. But whatever this is, it is a profoundly meaningful experience.