Sometimes when we experience trauma from a young age we do not form a cohesive sense of self. There is a lack of connection in our thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity. As I was cleaning up my room tonight I found this note I don’t remember writing. I think it was when I couldn’t speak and had to scribble things down to my nurse. I feel this was a very young part of me, who is semi-independent from the rest of us. I am sad how much guilt she carries, and how little space in the world she feels she can take up. She feels she is bad, a trouble maker and a burden. She doesn’t even believe she is deserving of help from professionals who are paid to help her.

I will keep this note as I want to get to know this part of me and her feelings and thought processes better.

note