I awoke early this morning, at about 3:15, from a deep sleep. I don’t know why I awoke. It wasn’t for any particular reason as I’d had no nightmare nor was there any sudden loud noise or distraction. But I was wide awake.
I sat up feeling cold and uneasy as though I wasn’t alone. I felt a shiver crawl up my spine as I sat there trying to get my head right. It took me some time to remember where I was. I’ve lived in three places in the last two months and don’t feel at home anywhere at the moment.
There was light coming into my room from the corridor so my room wasn’t completely dark (much to my disliking) and I could make out most things. But something had caught my eye in the far corner next to the door. When I first saw it I didn’t immediately register it. It blended in but still stood out slightly. I large, shadowy, figure. I was frightened. I scrambled to find my bedside lamp before remember that I wasn’t in my own room and didn’t have one. But this shadow didn’t move, it didn’t advance towards me or make any movements. It just stood there looming in its natural habitat. It had no solid shape and seemed fluid in its form. However it was consistent in the fear and emptiness it made me feel. As I stared into this ominous phantom that hovered in the corner I could see the endless sorrow and misery that would be forever abundant in my life. It’s only appropriate that it would appear now after the seemingly endless stress, disappointment and anxiety that my life has been lately.
After what felt like an eternity it seemed to just disappear. But sleep wouldn’t come. I got up long before the sun and went for a walk to try and calm my nerves. The pitch black, cold air and stillness of the night was very peaceful. There was a real solace in the emptiness of the dark. But I won’t soon forget the shadow that visited me or what it reminded me of. I only hope I don’t see it again.