The coronavirus is giving many people a taste of how I’ve been living for YEARS now… the isolation, the lack of touch, the lack of structure, the aimlessness and lack of purpose. Little has changed for me, and yet this existence suddenly feels more unbearable than ever. I know I can still see my friends one-on-one but it all feels pointless because I’m lonely even when I have company. Something separates me from people. My therapist calls it a “space suit”. When we have experienced trauma, we pull back from the world, and only relate to it via the space suit. But it starts to get very lonely in here and actually it’s like being starved to death if we keep the space suit on for too long. We can’t feel the things that make interacting worthwhile/meaningful, we can’t experience intimacy, and we walk away frustrated that people don’t meet our real self. Instead all they know is the space suit, and some even fall in love with the space suit believing they have found true connection.
Zoe
A founder of hsphaven, Zoe hopes to create a space for HSP writers to come together and share their diverse passions and expertise through writing. This has been an important outlet for Zoe over the years; she fondly recalls writing stories as a child at recess and lunchtime and sharing them with her classmates. Some of Zoe’s areas of interest include mental health, healing and self-development. She has a background in psychology/social science. In her spare time Zoe enjoys being in Nature, op shopping, vegan food, music, and art and craft.
April 3, 2020 at 4:20 pm
Thank you! Especially the part about starving. Personally I feel as if the word for me has been “suffocating” similar to how you used the word “starving”. I even felt addicted to those feelings because of my belief that it was all I could amount to, that there was nothing else for me to feel. Thank you for being honest with your feelings, its a breath of fresh air and hopefully this can be a source of nourishment for you as well!
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April 6, 2020 at 10:37 am
Hey Redharvest thanks for your comment! I actually almost used the word suffocating
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April 7, 2020 at 6:41 am
Thank you! I feel reassured by this a little more connected too!
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