I am a baby. I live in a house at the back of a church, a property which my dad maintains so we can stay in the house. My family fight and my dad threatens to kill my grandad. My dad gets a new job and we move away from the city to a valley full of coal power stations. My mum gets asthma so we move to the mountains. We move again to another house in the mountains. We move to Tasmania. We move to another house in Tasmania. My sister is born. I start school. I meet my best friend Kelly. I say goodbye to Kelly as we’re moving back to Victoria. I start a new school and am bullied. I move schools. I make new friends. I say goodbye to my friends and move schools again. I am bullied. My parents fight and I stand between them to stop them from hitting each other. My pet bird flies away. I make new friends. We graduate and my friends go to a different high school than me. I am alone and don’t fit in anywhere. A year passes and I make new friends. Another year passes and I lose those friends. I am bullied by the same girl from primary school. I move schools. I don’t fit in. I move schools. I am bullied. I move house. I have a panic attack during my finals. I start uni. I am sexually harassed. I see a psychologist. I love the psychologist. I lose the psychologist. I try to kill myself. I see a new psychologist. I am anorexic. I am in an ambulance. I am in the emergency department. I am in a taxi back taking me home at 4am. I am in an ambulance again. I am in the emergency department. I am in a taxi taking me home at 4am. I am in an ambulance. I am in the emergency department. I am in a taxi taking me home at 4am. I am in a residential for young people with a mental illness. I lose my psychologist. I am in an ambulance. I am in a psychiatric ward. I am sectioned. I am back home. I never return to uni and soon people years below me have surpassed me. I see a new therapist. Hope. Connection. My new therapist cancels our session and I never hear from her again. I am in hospital. I become friends with a nurse. I am happy. The nurse cuts all contact with me. I am suicidal. My estranged sister moves out. My parents split up. The police give my dad a restraining order. I am at mum’s house. I am at dad’s house. I am in hospital. I am on a farm. I am back in the city. I can’t find what I’m looking for anywhere. I don’t know who I am and who I could have been if life was different. I cannot fill the hole that follows me wherever I go, and I am homesick for a place I’m not sure even exists.
Zoe
A founder of hsphaven, Zoe hopes to create a space for HSP writers to come together and share their diverse passions and expertise through writing. This has been an important outlet for Zoe over the years; she fondly recalls writing stories as a child at recess and lunchtime and sharing them with her classmates. Some of Zoe’s areas of interest include mental health, healing and self-development. She has a background in psychology/social science. In her spare time Zoe enjoys being in Nature, op shopping, vegan food, music, and art and craft.
hsphaven 
October 10, 2021 at 3:07 am
Hi. Sorry for asking but I was wondering how you’re doing? Every now and then I check your posts. Looks like you’re about the same but I hope things have improved. It’s a cliche but try to stay positive. You’re a decent writer.
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October 10, 2021 at 3:10 am
Hey thanks for asking and reading my posts! You’re right I am pretty much the same. How are you?
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October 10, 2021 at 5:13 am
Still dealing with my own stuff. Disillusioned with therapy. Life could be worse though. I hope you’re doing a bit better on some days.
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October 12, 2021 at 9:58 am
I hear you. What kind of things are disillusioning you with therapy?
Thank you
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October 13, 2021 at 12:26 am
I think you mentioned something like it before. You were critical of certain approaches in therapy that professionals often don’t question. I have that problem. I’ve had therapists continually tell me what I SHOULD want out of relationships and how to relate to people. When I contradict them they call it resistance. They don’t want to hear an alternative hypothesis as to why my problems persist. Schema therapy and simplistic ideas about parental roles are particularly annoying. What about you? Any criticisms of therapy?
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