For as long as I can remember I never felt like I’ve belonged where I am. That perhaps I was meant to be somewhere else. Even as a child I could never really fit in anywhere. Even now as a grown man with hobbies and friends I don’t feel grounded. As though I need to be somewhere else but don’t know where it is I need to be.
There have been moments in time where in I felt as though I was right where I was meant to be. And there are a select few people with whom I share this feeling.
I’ve tried changing my world. Tried everything I could to be a part of the world in which I live but remain an outsider. Lonely in the company of millions.
I’ve often thought I would live happier living as a wanderer. Having a no place to be and nowhere to be apart from. Yet here I am, living on the outside of a world that has no place for somebody like me. I continue to drift by grasping at any glimpse of hope to connect. Searching for something that in all probability wan’t there to begin with.
I hope to one day find somewhere I belong. Somewhere that I can be needed and accepted. Where people will see me for who I am and not as they wan’t me to be.
Dreaming is all a person like me can do.
“Do you know what the scariest thing is? To not know your place in this world, to not know why you’re here. That’s – that’s just an awful feeling.” Unbreakable (2000)